Rachel finds Darren curled up with a bottle of cheap vodka–full–comforted not by the drink but by the bottle’s soft shape. Its ability to calm. She shakes him softly and his eyes snap open.
“What are you doing in the bathtub?” she asks him.
“What are you doing in my bathroom?” he squeaks back.
“Your roomate called me.”
“Uhh… yeah, but why are you in here?”
She frowns as she quietly moves back towards the door.
“Wait, come back. I’m hungover and I just woke up. Prolly pissy. What do you-”
“B. S. You didn’t drink anything.”
“Yeah, whatever. What do you need?”
She tells him about the call his roomate made to her. How she worried about him and what he was doing. She goes on about how she always talks to Darren’s sister who frequently told her stories about what he would do on the weekends. She makes it sound like he’s the apocalypse encapsulated in one person, slowly taking the world without it knowing and deystroying it.
“Put your shoes on and go for a walk with me.”
“Fine.”
Darren got up, knees shaking, and staggered out of the bathroom and into the kitchenette.
“Stop that, I know you didn’t actually drink anything.”
“Does one have to drink to be drunk?”
“Don’t get all Plato and Socrates on me. What is it? A girl?”
“No way. Remember? I hate girls. I haven’t dated one in forever.”
“Well, then what the hell is it?”
“What do you care?”
“I don’t.”
“Then why are you here?”
“Do you want me to leave?!” She’s almost yelling now.
“That would be nice” Darren softly mumbles.
“…” He sees her wheels turning, almost burning. “Why do I feel like I’m arguing with you?”
Darren grabs his favorite knit cap off the kitchen counter and calmly walks out the doorway and to the couch in the living area. He collapses into a slouch, barely pulling the worn NES controller out from under himself before his butt hits the crisp leather of the couch. He softly kicks the powerbutton on the console to start up the game.
Rachel sighs. “What are you playing?”
“Whatever’s in. It’s Garrett’s.”
“Who’s Garrett?”
“One of the roomates.”
“Oh.”
“Why are you here? I know for a fact that not one of my roomates knows your number.”
“I… I just came over…”
“Another one of your ‘feelings’, eh?”
Rachel ignores him and turns her attention away from him and towards the TV.
“You missed the contact.”
“What?”
“The cartidge. You missed the contacts.”
“Oh,” he says as he notices the blinking gray and black screen. “Yeah, it’s dirty.”
“No, you missed the contacts.”
As Darren throws her a sideways look as Rachel skillfully reaches down and flicks the power off, pops the cart, pulls it out a quarter inch, and drops the cart back in, tight against its front edge. She turns the console back on.
“Missing contacts. Means you have to not cram the cart in.”
“Oh. I would’ve just blown on it.”
The title screen for the game loads up.
“Hey, sweet action! Dr. Mario!”
“Yeah, Garrett loves playing some stupid drinking game with it. It just ends with puke in the carpets.”
“Why do you live here again?” she sarcastically asks him.
He bitterly responds, “Why are you here again?”
She pouts.
“They’re my friends, get over it.”
“I was just saying…”
“Saying what?”
She pauses and decides to ignore this tangent. “You never answered my question. Why do I feel as if I’m talking to the wall?”
“No, you asked why you felt as if you were arguing with me.”
“Same difference. And you still owe me that walk.”
“What? There’s noone here. Can’t I just get yelled at in the comfort of socks and a leather couch, instead?”
“I wasn’t gonna yell at you…”
“Then what were you going to do?”
Her knee starts bouncing. She does it when she’s nervous. “I… I worry Dariare.”
“No. You do not use that name around me.”
“What? It’s your name, isn’t it?”
“Not here.”
“Then what is it here?” She points outside herself, to the room in general.
“Just Darren.”
“Fine Darren.”
Darren hits start on his controller, launching the game into single player. Rachel swiftly kicks the NES restart button and bends over to grab the second controller. “I don’t think so,” she says as she falls onto the couch next to him. She smiles.
“I think about you alot, you know? Way more than I should.”
He tosses the controller to the floor. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… I dunno, nevermind. Forget it.”
“No, you do know. Go on.”
“Where’s my friend?”
“Oh, boy? I thought he was back east.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know, boy. The one down at school.”
“Oh, my boy. No, I was talking about you.”
“We’re friends?”
She softly backhands Darren’s chest. “Shut up.” She pulls her hand up to her face, stopping at his shoulder to rub it and say “I do care.” She rubs her nose with the back of her index finger while making a face as if about to sneeze. “What does it matter to you though?” He looks at her. It’s the first time in a few months she’s noticed him actually looking at her face. Darren kills the moment with, “Could you hand me the remote?” She inhales shallowly and pushes the air from her lungs loudly out her nose. She grabs the remote from the floor and tosses it into his lap. Darren dives to the floor and bunches a blanket from the floor into a makeshift pillow. He turns on the TV and starts flipping the channels. Spanish, infomercial, static, light night talk; typical garbage. He eventually stops on a Coke commercial.
Rachel crawls from the couch and goes to lie next to Darren. She points out “Cartoon Network is on Midnight Run right now.”
“Thanks.” Darren flicks the remote and throws it away from himself.
“Mind if I hit the lights?” she quizzes.
“Go for it,” he responds.
Rachel gets up and walks to the wall. She turns to examine any obstacles between the lightswitch and her spot on the floor next to Darren. When she’s ready, she flips the lightswitch to its off position and bounces back to the ground. The whole room is blue now, filled only by the light of the TV.
“So, what have you been doing recently?” she says, trying to make conversation.
“Nothing really. I’m a deadbeat loser, remember?”
“No you’re not. You’re smarter than I can ever hope to be.”
“I dropped out.”
“You’re confused.”
“I alienated my parents.”
“You need to find your own way.”
“I… I lost you.”
Rachel reels. Not what she was expecting from his acidic attitude he’s had thus far. She stares at him and begins to wonder what prompted that. Darren stares forward, not even phased by saying it to her. He notices her staring.
“What?”
“You.. you said. I don’t understand.”
“What? It’s true. You’d still be here if I wasn’t such a fuck-up. You’d've never left.”
Rachel turns her head away from from him and nods. She knew it was true. She needed more than just him, she needed a future.
“Am I not right?”
She nods again.
“So anyway, would you tell me why I’m here on the floor with you watching some lame children’s show from Japan?”
She thinks for a minute on the question. “He’s leaving.”
“Would you not speak in puzzles please?”
“Oh, yeah. No, ‘boy’ as you call him, he’s leaving.”
“English please, stay away from the obsfucated writer-ese.”
“He’s leaving in May. He’s graduating and I’m just a Sophomore.”
He sighs. “I’m feeling like a scratched record. Why did you come here?”
Rachel makes a high pitch stressed squeak and shrimps up. She curls herself up into herself the way a fist closes on itself. She lifts the shoulder closest to Darren and pulls her knees to her chest so she can bite softly at them. She lays still, softly holding and rocking herself.
“I feel lost, confused, and I don’t know where I’m going.”
“Wait, are we talking about me or you?” he pushes out his mouth alongside a chuckle.
She smiles. “I guess both of us.”
Darren suddenly gets up quickly, turning off the TV. He hops over her and towards the front door. He opens it and says, “You’d better get going. It’s my bed time.”
“Wait, what?” She says confused.
“Bed time. It’s when people go to sleep.”
“It’s not even late.”
“It’s one and even though it may not look like it, I have a job.”
“Hunh, really? Your sister always said you were a bum that still lived off mom’s money.”
“I haven’t taken money from either of my parents since four months ago when I finally moved out.”
“Do they even know you have a job?”
“Dad noticed when he called the local computer tech guy and had me showing up at his office.”
“Hey, that’s good, you’re doing what you wanted.”
“Yeah, if dropping cable down from ceilings and doing spyware sweeps is what I want I just must be living the dream to its fullest.”
“Dariare, I meant that you had a job with computers.”
“I said don’t call me that.”
“I forgot.”
“A trained rabbit could do my job. I’m very replaceable. What are you doing these days? Still just school?”
“Yeah, I just live up there and get by with my grades. I’m here for the weekend. Finals are coming up.”
“Are you leaving yet?” He’s suddenly irritated again.
She smiles crookedly. “No.”
“Fine.”
He closes the door firmly and walks back to his room. From behind the closed door she can hear him changing out of his clothes. Eventually she hears his bed sheets whipping around and his pillow being fluffed. She barely opens his door and whispers “Good night.” She hears his covers twitch as he says “Are you leaving or staying?”
“I’ve got nowhere to go.”
“What do you mean? Your parent’s house is just ten minutes from here.”
“They don’t know I’m here. Noone does.”
“Do you need to use the phone to call someone.”
“I have my cell. It’s been off the last several hours though.”
“Come in here.”
She cracks the door open further and further until it’s fully open and peers into his room. He’s lying buried buried under a heavy comforter. “I wouldn’t sleep out there if I were you. My two roomates and their friends could be dangerous.” He gets out of bed. He’s wearing boxers and an undershirt. She looks away and faces the opposite direction. “Here, take this.” Something cloth, heavy, and soft hits her back. She bends down and picks it up. It’s a pair of oversized sweats.
“Thanks.”
“No problem. The bathroom is right around the corner.”
She goes into the bathroom. It’s messy with random products and towels strewn about. She could immediately tell what stuff was Darren’s by the way some of it was neatly consolidated into one corner of the counter. She changes out of her jeans and blouse and into Darren’s sweats. She looks into the mirror. “Yechk,” she says to her reflection. She looks miserable. Her eyes are puffy and red because she’d been crying all the way to his apartment from the opposite side of the state. She brushes her teeth with Darren’s toothbrush, pulls back her hair into a pony, and walks back to Darren’s room.
“Umm… do you have a blanket?”
“There’s one out in the living area, but I doubt it’s warm enough. It gets freezing cold in here when when my computer’s off.”
“So, should I sleep on the floor?”
“You can sleep in here, the bed’s big enough.”
She smiles again. “At least I know you hate girls so I don’t have to worry about anything happenning.” She getts into the warm bed.
He makes a grunting noise as he turns his back to her. “Just go to sleep,” he says.
She wispers, “I’m sorry… for everything…” as she settles in next to him.
He flips over and looks at her. “Thanks. It’s all fine.”
As they both drift off to sleep, Rachel begins rubbing Darren’s shoulder. Soon Rachel is fast asleep. Darren could tell by a light, high pitched, grinding snore coming from the back of her throat. Darren gets up from the bed, sneaking away from Rachel’s soft hand on his shoulder. He turns on the TV, muting the volume. He turns on the NES and plays for a few hours before falling asleep on the couch.
